If you're going to shoplift- it would probably be best to wear something discreet that doesn't attract a lot of attention.
The next two subjects did not adhere to this advice and, in fact, appear to have gone the exact opposite route.
At this point in time, I'm working for yet another retailer for which I covered 5 of their stores. None of these stores had cameras in them forcing me to have to work the sales floor all day. I'm at one such store when in walk "Ketchup" and "Mustard." I call them this solely based on the manner in which they were dressed. "Ketchup" was wearing a bright red jogging suit, red knit cap, and the shiniest red tennis shoes I've ever seen. All of this attire was accompanied by a bright red leather purse. "Mustard" was wearing the EXACT same thing, only in yellow. For a brief moment I thought to myself, "these bitches can't honestly be stupid enough to wear this to come shoplifting." I thought this right before I observed Mustard select a pair of jeans, remove the sensor tag, and then hand them to Ketchup who then concealed them into her purse. As they went to leave, they were apprehended without incident. Okay, so this isn't the crime of the century, but it was a good, clean, and prosecutable stop. On the way back to the office, accompanied by two store managers, Ketchup kept asking me if she was going to jail. I said what I had to say to keep her calm and to get her in the office (but I do not lie.) Just as we're about to enter the office, Ketchup unzips her purse and dumps the jeans into a trash can near the office door... in plain view of me, the managers, and several other associates standing in the area. And then she says, "I ain't got shit." As if by dumping the merchandise into the trash can alleviates her of all responsibility. I just looked at her and said, "okay, you stick with that, now come in and sit down." Mustard just kept saying, "I'll see your ass in court. I didn't do nothing. I ain't got nothing, I ain't did nothing." I very fruitlessly attempted to explain the concept of complicity and that it carried the same penalties as committing the actual theft act. Her response was, "Motherfucker don't use words I can't understand! I ain't do shit."
A short time later the police showed up and took them both to jail; the whole time while Mustard kept screaming that she "ain't do shit."
Apparently the police didn't agree.
A quick search for the two of these women, both in the company database, and in online court dockets revealed that not only had we caught both of these subjects more than a handful of times in the past several years, but they each had no fewer than 25 shoplifting convictions.
Ketchup and Mustard are stupid condiments. I prefer mayo and relish.
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